I used to think that was possible but I'm beginning to rethink it. I'm not the same person I was, obviously. I've had to grow up and be a wife, a mother, and hold down a job. I don't have much free time and I know that every decision I make affects everyone in my house. In other words, I'm an adult.
I'm not the happiest person in the world (who is?) but I make the best of what I've got. Yes, I complain but only to an extent. Not everything in my life is a traumatic experience and I don't make them into that. Life is unfair - deal with it.
I'm also not one (anymore) to let things fester. If it's bothering me, I'm going to talk about it. Problems don't go away on their own and if we don't confront them, they're only going to keep coming back.
I make it a point to always be there for those who need me and I love it. I feel grateful that I'm able to be there and offer any kind of advice/suggestions/help I can. However, what I'm not grateful for is how I'm usually treated when no one "needs" me anymore.
I had a conversation today that left me in tears. I tried to tell someone how I feel and they turned it around to make it about them. Sometimes people just need to let others know how they feel and it doesn't have anything to do with them. It was how I felt. Think about that for a minute - my feelings didn't seem to matter to the person with whom I was speaking; it was all about them.
I often wonder why I put with the crap I put up with and I don't know the answer. I really think that if I treated people the way they treat me I'd no longer have a relationship with them. This is something i want badly because I genuinely love and care about this person so I have to continue to fight for it. I just hope the other person is going to fight for it, too. Time will tell.
It's time for me to focus on something else now. I've been dealing with this all afternoon and I'm exhausted. I hope everyone has a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend!
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